This picture was taken after I received the call, after we picked up my brother, and after we traveled down to Little Rock. This picture was taken hours after my dad died. And it has always baffled me. I’ve looked at it for 21 years now, and I have almost come to loathe it. Why am I smiling? Sitting on my Dad’s tractor with my baby who would never know his Papa Ray. Smiling for the camera seems so ridiculous! But maybe that smile means more than I’ve given it credit.
After talking with a friend whose husband is in a critical, life-threatening condition, I was amazed this woman was standing. Talking. Smiling. Definitely I could feel her fear, exhaustion, and sadness, but she was still functioning. Still praising God for miracles this far.
So what’s the catch? How is she not a total mess? I think it’s the same reason for the smile on my face.
It’s Where our roots are. It’s Who our anchor is. It’s the Hope we have that keeps us above the crashing waters. It’s baffling in some ways, but in others it makes perfect sense. It’s not easy or pretty, but it’s calling to mind that He has led us this far. He has carried us this far. He’s faithful to the end.
And that is something to smile about.