I work with an adorably spunky, four-foot something black heart. She actually has a heart of gold, but acknowledging her twisted sense of humor, she is a self-proclaimed black heart. You know the kind…laughs when your Mom goes to jail. Oh, you don’t know the kind?
Me and Black Heart have a great working relationship and camaraderie. Although we aren’t social outside of work, we’ve had great conversations and we’ve been through tough work situations. We haven’t worked much together since my Mom’s sickness. So catching up the other day, Black Heart asks…
“How have you been, D’Rae?”
I said, “Bad.”
She said, “For real? Are you serious? Bad?”
I said, “Yeah, it’s been bad!”
Black Heart said she was so sorry. And Black Heart meant it! She asked with a genuine heart. She asked in a way that was obvious she wasn’t just expecting an “oh, I’m good.” While my honest answer surprised her, she acknowledged it and with more of a feeling than many words, Black Heart loved on me. Me and Black Heart were just keeping it real. It’s been bad.
Yeah, yeah. I know we aren’t supposed to be Debbie Downers and walk around all doomy and gloomy. And I completely agree. God is good-all the time. All the time-God is good. I firmly believe with all my heart this world is not our home. I believe in an eternity…and one that is coming soon…of which we cannot fathom!
But, in the here and now, we will have trouble. It’s not always perfect. It’s hard. It’s sad. It wears you down. It’s bad. Let’s just get real and acknowledge that.
Jesus did.
Blessed are the poor in spirit
Blessed are those who mourn
Blessed are the meek
Blessed are those who are persecuted
For crying out loud, Jesus cried out loud when his friend Lazarus died. He of all people knew God is good all the time. He of all people knew there is a heavenly home waiting. But he was moved. He was sad. It was bad.
Habakkuk. He’s got himself a weird name. It means “to clasp” or “to embrace.” Habakkuk lived during a time of crisis. He doesn’t sugarcoat the crisis. He doesn’t pretend everything is good. He begins with “How long, oh Lord must I call for help but you do not listen?” Can’t get any more real than that! Can’t embrace your troubles any tighter.
But Habakkuk isn’t the only talker. He’s having a conversation with God. He’s also listening. First, he’s real. He pours out his black heart. He lets his thundercloud pour. But he sticks around. He is reminded of all the stuff he knows in his head, but may not have been feeling. And Habakkuk is led to write the beautiful testimony…
“Though the fig tree does not bud and there are no grapes on the vines, though the olive crop fails and the fields produce no food, though there are no sheep in the pen and no cattle in the stalls, yet I will rejoice in the Lord, I will be joyful in God my Savior. The Sovereign Lord is my strength.” Habakkuk 3:17-19
We all get the black heart from time to time. Sometimes life is just going bad. And that’s ok. Embrace it. Say it. But like the embracer Habakkuk, stick around to hear God’s response and feel His blessed assurance.