A weekend seminar on death and dying ended and I was on my way to the airport. When I told the taxi driver where I had been he said, “I’m not afraid of dying. Here in the south land we have a custom we call sittin’ up with. When a person is dyin’ friends and family take turns sittin’ by the bed. We never die alone in these parts.”
I like the custom, but I seldom see it in the north. I held the hand of a dying man while his family was playing cards in the kitchen. A nurse and I placed our hands on the shoulders of an 18-year-old girl as the monitor went straight-line. Her family refused to be with her in the hour of death. A New Haven husband refused to have anyone visit his wife. She stayed in a back bedroom alone. I went to the ICU and felt her strong grip on my hand as she died. A man afflicted with MS received fewer and fewer visitors as his condition worsened. A month before he died he told me It is just God and me.
Dying with dignity is highly improbable when loved ones withdraw. I’ve heard many preachers say, All you need is Jesus. I’m here to tell you that Jesus is not enough when you are dying. Dying people usually do a life review. With family present that review is more positive and rewarding.
Jesus said, I am with you always. He uses human agents to pull that off. Dying alone is shameful.