Old people have old friends. You know, the ones you haven’t seen in years.
I guess that means I’m old!
From 1985-1992 my wife and I lived in Kansas City. We had, and still maintain, many rich and meaningful friendships in that fair city. But a common theme bonded five couples — we were all newlyweds just starting our families with at least one spouse working at Shawnee Mission Medical Center. We worked, worshipped and socialized together.
Gradually career moves and life changes dispersed our families across the country — California, New Jersey, Washington, Arkansas, Ohio & Texas. We kept in touch with Christmas cards and Facebook. We aged, turned gray, lost hair, gained weight, earned some wrinkles, became in-laws, and achieved grandparent status. And despite occasionally seeing one couple or another in our travels, we had not all been together for 28 years.
Much persistence and dogged planning recently brought us back together in the seaside community of Manzanita, Oregon. We talked for hours, walked the beaches, ate Voodoo Doughnuts (only in Portland…Google it), enjoyed delicious home cooking, sang, played games, slept too little, shopped, golfed and reveled in the resiliency and warmth of friendship. You know the feeling — as if we’d never been apart.
If you had you been a mouse in the corner of our house, you would have picked up on a theme — our children. Five couples. All still married. 10 precious children. Married. Dating. Engaged. Degrees pending. New careers starting. Dreams of future careers. Good kids. Proud parents.
At each meal a dad would pray — for food and friends and kids. Heartfelt. Emotional. If you had been there, I’m sure you would have fit right in around that table. All our kids — making their way in a tough world — are the frequent focus of our prayers.
The Manzanita parents talked about kids’ health challenges, the difficult decisions involved in choosing life partners, the stresses of getting through college and advanced degrees, new jobs, choosing careers and losing jobs. We talked of our desire that our kids know Christ personally and see Him in our lives.
All too soon Bert and I returned home in Arkansas — back to the warmth of family and friends that have enriched our lives for more than 23 years. I’ve shared meals with many of you and heard your child prayers, too! I’ve seen your joys and heartaches. I know your amazing kids and share your passion for each one of them.
We toss Proverbs 22:6 around so easily. “Train up a child in the away he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it.”
But sometimes our parent prayers sound more like David’s: “My God! My God, why have you left me all alone? Why are you so far from saving me–so far from my anguished groans? My God, I cry out during the day, but you don’t answer; even at nighttime I don’t stop.” Psalm 22:1-2 CEB
Mark 1 tells a troubling story. Jesus heals Simon’s mother-in-law on the Sabbath. After sundown, the whole town comes over to watch Jesus heal more people. The next morning the crowd returns. Word spread and they want to be healed, too. But Jesus was gone! Simon found Him alone in prayer. “Everyone’s looking for you!” (vs. 37) Simon exclaimed. It seemed as if Jesus had turned His back on those in need. Jesus reminded Simon he had other business. Heart business!
Laura Story, in her book “When God Doesn’t Fix It,” shares the Mark 1 story and says, “God wants to restore our relationship with him more than anything else. Though he loves us he’ll allow us to feel the pain of this world’s unhealed hurts if it brings us closer to him . . . Jesus came to heal, but he doesn’t always fix the broken things I want fixed. But if I allow him to, God will always heal my broken relationship with him.”
The same is true for our children. Sometimes it seems as if God has left town. So when your parent heart hurts for your kids, remember the words of Jeremiah 29:12 — “When you call me and come and pray to me, I will listen to you.” Your Heavenly Father hears you. He shares your passionate parent heart. When He hung on the cross He saw your son or daughter. He knows. He cares.
So . . . “Be cheerful no matter what; pray all the time; thank God no matter what happens. This is the way God wants you who belong to Christ Jesus to live.” 1 Thessalonians 5:16-18 MSG