“D’Rae, I’m having another gallbladder attack. I’m hurting so bad!” I heard the voice and knew instantly it was Jen, but did the phone even ring? Did I say hello? What is going on?
“I’m coming,” I hear myself say. What time is it? Oh, it’s 9:45 pm! (That is one of the ways you know you are getting old when you go to bed at 9:30 pm, and you are out like a light at 9:45 pm! But I digress.) I’m awake! I get dressed! I jump in the little red car. I am driving like mad — half disoriented and half crazed — to get to Jen! I know how much the gallbladder attack hurts. I’ve had that! I have to get to her to help her! I’m almost there. It’s going to be OK.
And then the train. THE TRAIN! It is stopped on the tracks. Not creaking forward. Or choo-chooing just a little bit. It is stopped on the tracks. How long has this train been here? Is it going to go in the next minute or two? What am I going to do? I hate this train! I am furious at this train! I want to rip it off the tracks and throw it aside. I want to crawl under it. I want to go through it. But no, that train is stopped on the track, and it’s not moving. Oh, I can scream. And I can cuss. And I can break my hand hitting the steering wheel, but I will not get that train off the tracks! Nope!
Outraged, I turn around. Livid, I go another way. A longer way. But I get to Jen, and we make it to the ER and get relief. And now the ole cursed gallbladder is a story of the past! Thank you, Jesus!
But that train! That awful, awful train!
Do you have a train stopped on the tracks in your life? A big elephant in the room? A great big problem? Do you have an immovable mountain? We all have them from time to time and for some of us, the train never moves.
Your train may be called Grief. Loss. Sickness. It may be called Fear. Loneliness. Trains that stay on the track are usually pretty serious issues.
So what are we to do? How are we to get around these giant things in our life? It stopped us. It makes us cry out!
To be honest, I’ve been mulling this little story over for a couple of weeks since it happened! I have no good ending. Even at this moment, I am voice recording this as it comes out of me. Sure, I could pull out Joseph or Job from the pages of the Bible and learn a thing from them. I could quote some C.S. Lewis or other books on grief. But the loss and sadness I personally hold in my heart…there’s no getting rid of it. There is only living with it. But I suppose that is the answer. To continue to live. To continue to love people. To love those around you. To continue to love God who created heaven and earth. To persevere and keep the faith in this God we can’t see, but the God we hang all of our hopes on.
Our trains will continue to rock our world and detour us. They will make us go different ways than we ever thought we’d go. Longer ways and harder ways and maybe, even better ways. But you have faith! And help me have faith! In the end we will get there. And we will mercifully be given relief! And this ole cursed broken life will be a story of the past! Thank you, Jesus!
Happy Thanksgiving to all! Even with our trains grieving us, may we absolutely know, we can be thankful for a Savior who swings low and rescues us.